If you’re anxious about how to tell your boyfriend, or sexual partner, that you’re pregnant, you’re not alone.
It can be incredibly anxiety-inducing, especially if it was an unplanned pregnancy. With that said, many women find telling their partners that they’re pregnant nerve-wracking, even if they’ve been planning for months.
It’s an incredibly intimate and life-changing conversation, but you have the power to take control, be strong, and tell your partner the exciting news.
How To Tell Him If We’re Not Together?
If you’re not in a relationship with the father of your child, the thought of telling your sexual partner the big news, can feel incredibly overwhelming.
It’s good to remember that when two people have sex, they enter that agreement knowing that pregnancy could occur, even if both of you took precautions. While he will be surprised at the news, it can, and does happen, to people all over the world.
If you’re planning on telling a man that you’re not in a relationship with you’re pregnant, you’re going to need to consider a couple of things beforehand. Do you want this man to be part of your child’s life? Would he be a safe, and good father?
Do you feel safe around this man? Everyone has a different journey, so it’s important to truly reflect on the situation before you spring news onto your sexual partner.
The next thing you’re going to want to consider is what you’re going to say. If you want the father to be involved in the child’s life, you should state that. If you’re indifferent, you can say that too.
You can prepare a speech to say, and explain that you have some news that you need to share that is very overwhelming and scary, so if he could greet you with patience, that would be appreciated.
While this will certainly give the man a level of anxiety, from being unsure of the news, it will prepare him mentally, and lower the level of shock.
If you can tell the father in person, that would be the most mature action. It’s important to remember that it’s not always a feasible choice for everyone, especially if the relationship ended on bad terms.
In that case, you can ask to meet in person, via a phone call, or text. If you’re met with a couple of declines, then it is acceptable to gently break the news over text.
Later, we’ll discuss how to prepare emotionally for the response.
How To Tell Him If It’s Unexpected?
If you’re in a relationship with a man, but you find yourself unexpectedly pregnant, that can be incredibly worrisome.
There are a lot of things to consider here. Have you had the child talk – do both of you see having children in the future?
Have you talked about what would happen if you ended up pregnant, would you keep the child, or have an abortion? There’s are normal discussions that happen in a relationship, and it’ll help you feel more confident in your response.
You should also remember that even if you made a plan with your partner, before accidentally getting pregnant, on whether you would keep the baby – you can change your mind.
If you discover that you want an abortion, or you want to keep the baby, that is your right. It will, however, mean that you and your partner will have to have an in-depth discussion.
Having a baby will change your life completely, and depending on your relationship, your partner may not want to be involved. Likewise, your partner may be excited about the idea of a child.
While it is your body, and your choice – it’s important to remember that this may not be an easy conversation to have.
When it comes to actually tell your partner, it’s best to tell him in the most relaxed, and calming way possible. It would be a good idea to ask him to sit down with you and explain that you have some significant, and scary news to share.
You can offer words of comfort, or, you can just rip the band-aid off, hold his hand, and let him know that you’re pregnant.
Later, we will discuss how to emotionally prepare for his response.
How To Tell Him If We’ve Been Planning?
If you’ve been planning a pregnancy, then you’ll have less anxiety and more excitement. While it’s normal to still feel nervous, if you’ve been wanting and planning for a baby with your partner, this can be one of the most special moments of your life.
When it comes to telling your partner the good news, you should think about his personality. Would he appreciate sentimental news? In that case, you could get him a card which says ‘world best father’ and write the news inside and then confirms your pregnancy, lovingly.
If your man is a bit more lavish, then going out on a fancy dinner might be the way to go. You can explain to your partner you have some really exciting news to share, and you want to go out to celebrate. When you feel like the moment is right, you can share the happy news.
Likewise, maybe you want to break the news in a happy, relaxed way. You might sit him down on the sofa, holding his hand, and exclaim the words happily. It’s intimate, it’s gentle, and it’s loving.
In a lot of cases, women tell their partners immediately. They run out, shout the good news, and hug their partners because they can’t wait a minute more!
Whatever way you choose, it’s perfect as is, and you’ll remember it forever.
How To Emotionally Prepare Yourself
Whether you’re not in a relationship with your sexual partner, you have an unplanned pregnancy, or you’re just unsure about your partner’s response, it’s important to emotionally prepare, before telling your partner the news.
Becoming a partner is life-altering, and it’s going to cause a lot of shock for your partner. When people are in shock, they can react in different ways.
It might be that your partner is over the moon about the news, or it could be that your partner storms out of the house. This is applicable to any relationship dynamic because it’s difficult to gauge how someone will react, to such massive news.
You’ll need to have a little talk with yourself and tell yourself that no matter what happens, you will be okay. Whether the father is angry, sad, happy, or upset – you will be fine, you are safe, and everything will work out for the best.
This is important because it’ll give you a little more confidence and reassurance, and if your partner does not act the way you want, you’ll be prepared for it.
It’s always essential to remember that it’s very natural for a partner to have a range of emotions, whether that be fear, shock, sadness, or joy. They may even go through all of those emotions sitting right in front of you.
Some men need to leave immediately, or shortly after, to clear their heads. This is pretty normal behavior because they need to process the information given to them.
What If I Don’t Want To Keep The Baby?
Your body, your choice.
No matter the person, do not let anyone talk you in, or out of, the choice you have made. If you want an abortion, that’s your right. If you want to keep the baby, that’s your right too. Do not let anyone control your choice, because it is your body.
With that said, you may find that you two are on completely different pages. If one of you wants to keep the baby, or one of you wants an abortion, it could cause relationship problems.
These concerns can be fixed, and if you can access a relationship therapist, you will find the process a lot easier. If the two of you end up going your separate ways, just remember it is for the best.
Telling the father of your child that you are pregnant is not always easy. For most people, it causes a lot of anxiety and worry. Be prepared for his reaction, tell yourself affirmations, and remember that you will always be okay.
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